grounding

since 10 March I have been in my own little world, pondering and pottering while the world and its mother, passed me by. I have little need at this moment in time to move at the same pace as everyone else, and, while youngsters on their bikes, supported with stabilisers, and by animals with far less purpose than even I at the moment, I have reorganised my life, sorted out the wheat from the chaff as it were and broken my workload down to a point where I am able to move forward, both as a person and as an artist.

My current fixed projects are as varied as they are separated by simple geography, the Glass House restoration and the Film company, Dog Tag Media both based in Scotland and my Autumn Show here in Kendal.

My recent contact with Melvyn Bragg is now at an end though not without my realising that there really was no connection between us sufficient as to reap the full benefits of being in contact with such a genuine person, the lack of contact simply of my own making and borne of the gulf that lay between, in realising this however it provides the most perfect grounding in much the same way as I found my level of health amongst veterans at Hollybush House I have now established my presence in the art world, a presence that, with its very existance, I have a place in life.

The Glass house project is tremendously exciting for me and, despite early, though knowingly false, ideas that the project would be a simple undertaking it has proved to be far from simple but nonetheless; with people to interview, stonemasons, carpenters and glaziers to film while they mimic the craftstrades of old and, in virtue of that I have no doubt that those who are responsible for the restoration work will be of the same qualities as those who built the glass house in its original state, there are photographs to take, drawings to do and paintings to be done, there is filmwork and all of the associated artistic skills combining with those of the workforce, what magic that could spawn.

The theme for my autumn show is to be a response to the changes in my environment, and will be based around the five paintings [those from the recent Stavely show] each supported by black and white/sepia photographs depicting life in and around Kendal, hopefully I can bring in some moving images as well but only time will tell, for the moment this is the direction and I can only follow the path and see what lies ahead of me.

Finally I have Dog Tag Media, a new film company that is truly at the very beginning, I feel so fortunate to have stumbled upon them and allows for so many joint ventures in the future that I can only start to imagine what the future will bring for all concerned.

I have spent a vast amount of time over the past two weeks examining the different techniques in film making and the different forms of acting trying to decide where and how I make my first move forward in the world of moving image, currently I have gelled with performances such as Upstairs Downstairs where emotions seem so overly staged as to be a simple honesty in the false world that is 'acting', with this at one end of my scale it moves along to a point where there is such a good rapport between camera and script as to create an illusion of reality such as soaps and mature drama, this is something that I have to work out, not only from the work point of view but also from a personal point of view, while trying to be something that you know you are capable of while not knowing how is very different from trying to be something that you are not meant to be in life, I have tried the latter throughout the entirety of my life to know the difference, I just have to keep trying to be.

The waters settle

Time allows for me now to continue to relax, at least on the creative side of life, now, with my home a studio from one end to the other it is time to find my living space once again and start to pack away, (and dispose of!), all the crap that has accumilated over the recent and manic creative period, where does it all come from and, in retrospect, what part did any of it play in the final pieces; not a lot practically however from an my minds perspective all the junk has contributed greatly to the overall rustic appeal of the works; for the next works only a tidy environment will do.

At the moment I am struggling with Adobe Illustrator, and, with Gilbert and Gilbert as my inspirational directions, I head off into the world of the unknown yet again in a bid to find a place in creativity that I can call my own, in a frustrating manner Gilbert and George seem to be what I call brick wall artists, ( rather than bridging artists who provide direction for travel) brick wall artists are those whom I see as taken a genre to its limit, even they themselves seem to be struggling to move forward from where they are, their most recent exhibition in Brooklyn in New York supports this as I find little new coming from their world.

Who knows where my new software will take me, perhaps even the possibility that there is a step forward from Gilbert and George in the creation of a moving image collage, while not knowing what my new Illustrator software is capable of and linking it to my current and equally difficult struggles with the Adobe Film software, both learning curves have to be quite steep; it is unlikely that I will be able to create any self satisfying works in time for the next exhibition but it is worth a try if only as a stepping stone.

The recently found sound artist that would have been so useful for the artwork side of Dog Tag Media has pulled out through work committments, it is a shame because now I shall have to go and find another, until then the story boards continue to clutter the front room and fill my desk top with trials that are not fit for publishing, I have the sound editing software myself but feel I would be stretching myself to try to get to grips with that at the moment but if no-one appears it may have to be me.

I await with anticipation both for the decision from the exhibition selection committee for the local arts centre in response to my CD submission for an autumn show and also for the short list for the ALW Award to be published, both nail biting opportunities that I am quite excited about until then however life goes on.

(Images courtesy of Penny and are snapshots from within the finshed pieces from the recent exhibition)

Happy Birthday Mr Burns

I can only apologise in advance for the length of this post, since my last post however my weeks have left me with hardly a minute when something new and exciting wasn’t happening; at this moment in time a small part of me considers that I may have taken on more than I can chew however the greater part considers that with regard to the differing timescales of each of the new project time allows for an acceptable level of headway along my journey.

I have just returned from The Combat Stress Residence, they are the charity that provides me with the care and support I need to help me along this step of my journey, they only have 3 such places throughout the uk leaving me feeling so lucky to manage to get a placement as there are so many veterans needing this kind of help as to provide for a lengthy waiting list.

My arrival in Scotland was greeted by the news that a Burns Supper was planned for that evening, apart from it being the birthdate of Burns himself for me, the evening was a celebration that not only another chapter in my life had been reached in a most gratifying manner but also that it included all aspects of my life, the highlite being the successful exhibition of my most significant work thus far.

The entire nite was in gaelic, although understanding many of the words I was more reliant upon the expressions borne of passion, nomoresoe than the delivery of the Tam O’ Shanter, (sincerest apologies for spelling errors) a 3000 word poem by a young lass who could not have been more than 13, word perfect to mine ears and with such expression that I was easily able to recognise the story with such finite accuracy that my laughter and expressions of pain were as honest had they been borne of my own tongue.

That evening I met a remarkable man called AlanBrunton, a man so spiritually aware that it was of his character, a gifted artist even at the very step of finding himself, his enthusiasm and vibrancy was so contagious that I was truly able to appreciate, not only his achievements but also the significance of my earlier thoughts toward personal celebration, if that were not enough a friend I had yet to meet entered the room in the form of Tom, the Film maker who, like myself had been introduced to each other through Alan Harpur, a mutual friend and great fisherman of his rivers,

Over the course of the next two days Tom and I spent much time sharing both our personal lives and our professional aspirations with regard to Dog Tag Media to a point that such frankness and mutual respect at that level seems rarely to exist amongst mankind, I have little doubt that over a good period of time each of that which we expect to achieve on behalf of the veterans of our armed forces will be satisfied, still leaving ample time for our personal lives to continue to grow with debt of gratitude repaid and nought but healthy respect remaining; it is strange how guilt can sometimes lead to the greatest humility and how only from that point are we able to grow as human beings.

From this point on my trip simply improved, I had met a young lady called Anna who was transporting the veterans to the gardening leave project.

The Gardening Leave Project the innovation of Anna Baker Cresswell, a North East lass who has a personal understanding of the plight of Veterans. Just outside of Ayr sit the grounds of Auchincruive Estate, a beautiful and tranquil place encompassing the River Ayr beside which sits the ornamental gardens of the Gardening Leave Project.

It is here where veterans of a particular nature are truly able to be themselves surrounded, not only by a creation borne of love and understanding but also amongst others who are in essence their brothers, attached by inclination and shared experiences, for these veterans a world outside of these grounds just does not exist, in essence; a garden of Eden; it came of no surprise when one of the men told me of the existence of a ley line that ran through the garden.

Within the walled grounds, I found a Jewel, it was here that Anna managed to catch up with me and told me the story. At 85 metres a wall of mirrors sat resting against massive heated walls in the fashion of a lean-too, before me a reflection of every part of the world in which I stood, though not as a single mirror but as a mosaic, each square minutely offset and brilliantly lit as to capture in each a different picture of beauty itself, my immediate panic was that the work Anna was telling me about was going to absoulutely destroy something that was so perfect that any change would have destroyed that forever.

The more I listened however the more I was able to realise that indeed this building was held in such high esteem as that which I felt myself and felt comfortable that any and all changes would be so completely sympathetic as to merely enhance it and bring it back to its perfect former glory, I had no choice other than to want to capture every aspect of this beautiful building before it was returned to ‘brand new’

Remaining for the entire day rather than the half day planned I found myself so attached to this glass house that I had to return the next day and on the following day of my departure home enforced with the loss of my mobile phone, a small price to pay just to visit both the glass house and the veterans that were working there.

Now, I find myself working on several projects, the corporate identity of Dog Tag Media, an archive to build of the restoration of the glasshouse in Auchincruive, a steep learning curve with some film software, to finalise my week another opportunity to create something for the Royal British Legion.