lifes journey

Over the years I have had more than my fair quota of the proverbial 15 minutes of fame where the media are concerned, prior to this week the most recent being in October of 2008 regarding a donated painting for the launch of the County Poppy Appeal on behalf of the Royal British Legion, it was only on this occasion however that I felt trepidation. The usual pre-amble that came from the tv station the night before filming had asked if I would show the reporter anywhere that held memories of life as a homeless person, the thought of inviting judgement while overly advertising my homeless past was instantly quite terrifying and my spontaneous answer seemed to come far too easily and quickly for me to feel comfortable with in retrospect, it had come from somewhere outside of my control, a state of mind that I have become used to now and refer to 'as my little voices', on this occasion however I felt they had let me down and berated myself almost as quickly, the damage done however ...

I am a philanthropist, I am an artist. I struggle, not daily, but as a matter of my waking and sleeping life to the plight of all, I have no choice in the matter it is what I am and who I am and have no idea from where or even when it came about other than to just know I am a very different person than one you may have met at another time in my life. I am not overly educated nor am I so culturally confident that I am able to even start to imagine how life would be to co-exist with others whom I hold in high regard, all I do know however is that I am required in my life to write letters such as this in the search for those who are more able to help me in my lifes duty. I want, no, I am obliged and forced to create artworks that will act both as awareness and fund raising pieces for charitable cause, I have no personal desire for fame and fortune indeed, even the thought that I may gain in some way from my actions is something that I prefer not to think about, notwithstanding however the...

What a week it is turning out to be, artistic output practically zero and the side-effects of not being visually creative are beginning to show as I feel my body slowly deteriorate at all levels, I jest not, without the peace and harmony of being of another world I am beginning to look and feel absolutely drained despite being awake for far less hours than when creating! Office work, computer work, words, words, and more words, mailing lists, the production of and the posting out of marketing material sending me slowly but surely into boredom!! That being said however it is not without both reward and satisfaction as a plan comes together and I start to see the fruits of my labor my only respite being the yahoo answers site that allows me to afford others information, it is not just the giving that is proving fruitful for me but also the ability for self affirmation and I have noticed that in the provision of information I am able to see through words some understanding of myself, does...

Black Glove - Jan 19 2008 This is from a series of fotographs that I started to take last year as part of the 'lost souls' instalation, it was intended purely as a one off and appeared in the February exhibition at the Kendal Warehouse Gallery - colour charles and black exhibition. At that time there were only around 7 gloves that I had found discarded around the streets and prompted an idea that these items, like homeless persons, had once been cherished and now, lost or discarded lay around the streets, a glove, an umbrella, shoe or even, on occasion, a shirt or jacket. Like all homeless persons these items had all been seen and ignored by the hundreds, if not thousands of people that walked past them in the street. my interest in this has somehow become a habbit and now number around 70 in total, not all collected but all fotographed and await, like a homeless person, a place in life, for these lost souls an audience to be listened too. Now, Jan 19th and the continuance of m...

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Only Thursday and I have been on the go continually since Monday now starting the week with a 52 hour shift, dont know where the energy came from and even now, having 4 hours sleep wednesday night and 2 hours on the sofa this evening I am still here working away at 4 am! The sum total of my weeks work amount to a massive amount of networking and admin related to the onemillionproject, it is the foundations for the next four years work, the setting up of an internet presence, research and seeking individuals with the drive passion and commitment to making the entire process a success, and still I have managed to spend a little time on my own growth as a person. I have discovered through a variety of sources that I am an empath, more of this later, I have also discovered that I share philosophies with those of Mahatma Ghandi and have spent a lot of time reading up on some of his life and work, I have also found a new quality time pastime that satisfies not only my own self examination bu...

I have finally got around to setting up access to all of my sketchbooks online, it will, for sure make life so much easier not only to cross reference but also to go back in time and look at the ideas that I was having at a different time and place, other than my not having any specific reason before I now find that I have to load at least one on line in order that those following the progress of the onemillionproject are able to access and view my research sources and ideas, particular those who will eventually fund the project. For me this is just so important and for the life of me cannot understand why I had never considered keeping a sketch book other than the fact that travelling from one place to another, boat, plane, train, even bike and rickshaw, for sure they would have been lost anyways. Now, as a professional artist they are not only invaluable as a source of personal reference but irreplaceable, anyway, it will take me some time to load them all on the internet, it is 2 am...

What a week of brainstorming it has been, exhibits running wild in my head, reams of paper with names, email addresses, websites, things to do and places to go, networking for me is so much more tiring than actual hands on but the task that I have set myself requires that I step outside of my little world, away from the comfort zone of a little studio, away from the local venues that provide such regular showings of my works, now, half way through the next week and a long way from the last there is at least some result of an 18 hour day. My contacts list has increased by 230 now and the list grows slowly as whatever happens in cyberspace, happens.!!!!! In addition I have created three groups within my facebook profile regarding causes that are close to my heart, the first (Veterans Day - a Public Holiday) focuses not only upon my own former military service but moreso to the veterans of present day conflicts who have yet to experience life after the military. This group has a secondar...

Pebble Count - 004 What a hectic week it has been since the return from christmas break though even then the creative within me refused to allow me 'time-out) and continued to wake me at the dead of night with some direction, painting, idea or other such intrusion. One such thought was that perhaps I had exceeded my own abilities in the establishment of the onemillion project, it was 3am when all were at rest and I suddenly awoke from a dream that saw a million small insects marching over the hill, I had never seen a million of anything in my life and, as soon as I awoke, I realised the enormity of the task I had set myself, to find one million individuals willing to grant me a personal moan which is waht I was asking for. In an attempt to break this number down I decided that perhaps I should not concentrate upon a million moans, groans and comments of discontent alone and should seek out the positives aswell, that being said I settled back to sleep tho that was not forthcoming f...

Acrylic piece from January 2008 Exhibition now privately owned. It is now the 5th January 2009 and already we start off the year with fallen heroes in lands that were unknown until conflict thrust them into the headlines, Afghanistan, Iraq and now, Gaza, not that conflict there is anything new merely that people had become unawares until the recent action by Israel, all one can do is to send out prayers for the unfortunate 'collaterals', civilians, women children etal. What was most depressing, nay, annoying for me however was that even with wars raging around the globe, with poverty misery, depravity and suffering far greater than people in this country could even imagine let alone deal with, people are still able to moan about comparatively trivial issues in their lives, the price of beer, the broken traffic lights, the roadworks and that it was too cold to even think about walking to work in the New Year, and all that just in one queu on christmas eve, what is the matter w...