lifes journey

I write no blog today, or at least that is how I was going to start, I continue, my past two days have been revelationary both artistically and spiritually, Friday and Saturday night were spent in as constant a meditative state as extrinsic factors would allow, I have been in a beautiful place and had my future laid out before me, I am still there now as the beauty came back with me, I celebrated this with a painting the final outcome humbled me. I have no other choice other than to retain this from the exhibition sales sheet as it is for sheila, a friend and, a remarkable woman of another time even. There is a verse that was allegedly found in an old Baltimore church, it was called The Desiderata, essentially a list of .... thoughts to guide an individual, no-one truly knows the actual poet though there have been a few claims, whatever, that matters not to me, the words do however, surprisingly I do not know it off by heart though I ought to the number of times I have had the precise ...

after mentioning the analogy of pebbles in a glass of water I set out to provide my own pictoral analogy, there is no other reason to publish this blog other than to get this image off canvas and into cyberworld, it is there that it can do the most good rather than sitting on my easel or in some persons home where only they are able to benefit from it; as it turns out it is in total keeping with all of my philosophies regarding art and life itself. The person seeing and gaining the most from this image has to fully understand its significance, at the least, by one who shares similar and adjacent pathways in life. unnamed and under construction (watch this space!) The piece depicts the framework of a fence on the edges of Lake, slowly over the course of time the waters have advanced their invasion of the land in tune with the ebbs and flow of natural elements, the post is a self portrait, soaking up the waters of life, drying out with the sun, a gradual taking over by plant life which i...

Yesterday............ is history This blog was intended to be about my artistic journey however it is turning out more like the official biography of the artist known as charles, is that corny or is it just another cliche..... I prefer I suppose that rather than a cliche it is truly the way I see myself, as an artist I have a quest before me to 'find myself', the artist part of my psyche has been locked away for so many years, not so much in a personal denial but as someone who was cast out into the big wide world to just get on with it, with what.... I must have asked myself a hundred times throughout my life, ' what is it that I am supposed to be doing........ life provided many teachers and, by all account I was a good student and just became whatever it was my involuntary, though none the less chosen, teacher portrayed as a life........ how mad is that just to place yourself at the mercy of whatever teachings presented itself and then tried to live that life independant...

I went to a retreat in Scotland during which one of the lectures relating to stress provided the analogy of stressful issues in life represented by pebbles in a glass of water, the more pebbles that went in the higher the water level rose to a point of spilling over, or, in the case of stress, an explosion of emotions that by far exceed acceptable behaviour. How true does that ring home excepting that during normal life the glass is never half full or half empty, for me the water level is in a continual state of change, a constant battle to keep throwing out the pebbles of stress only for them to be replaced by others from sources outside of my control. The Allotment When I am painting there is no glass, there are no pebbles, there is no work only a pure enjoyment and celebration of life itself, of places visited, of feelings long dreamed of, my painting is from the deep emotions that dwell within each of us, we all have a place to go for sanctuary from the real world, I am fortunate...

Few could tell of the feeling of freedom and choice in abundance unless some form of Liberation had been experienced in ones life-time, I would suggest to anyone who felt unable to express the simple lack of words to describe the simple joy just, 'to be allowed', it is as envigorating as taking a shower under the falls of some naturally occuring shower after not being clean for some time, it is empowering in as much as all you had ever dreamed of suddenly being placed at your feet, both in full recognition of what you now posess and with the faculty of wisdom, the lessons from a thousand teachers suddenly all clicking into piece, it is that final piece in that 30,000 piece mosaic. Less of my ramblings of joy, having now moved scarily onwards from the humble and much used paintbrushes towards pallet knives and inanimate objects for mark making I have suddenly found something that fills in the gaps as it were in impasto works, in fact, filling in the gaps is not such an accurate ...

I have not been pondering over any particular title for my next exhibition in the firm belief that, when the moment was right a little voice would whisper something in my ear, its arrival came with the completion of my first exhibition piece. I had decided the moment that the opportunity arose, thankyou Helen you are a little Godsend, that this would be an exhibition that would be a defining mark, despite painting and drawing as a general passtime, that rare moment when there is nothing in the world for you to be thinking about, or in my case a time when there was nothing to do, however, despite those 30 years or more I have rarely, if ever, painted for myself, there was always someone there who had brought about a chance to do something creative, because of, or for someone, this exhibition was going painted for and by me. Does that all make sense, probably not! I have now completed my first piece that encompassed the whole of me physically, spiritually and mentaly, I am drained though...

I have finally cut out all of the odious tasks that take me away from painting, gone are the trips out for banking, docters, shopping, telefone, regional weekly news, all now dealt with on-line, even the television has been replaced by podcasts that now bring me an endless supply of arts programmes. section of much larger though unfinished work Some question why I banish my television to the basement, even those of the artistic clique question my elimination of such social research, the answer is simple; the television just brings in the real world, the one that I keep at arms reach as to not influence my work ! The real world is just outside my doorstep, the real world is just a reminder of where I have come from and, that 'where I come from world' did not include me as an artist in it, I do not miss it and have not since it went away, that is not to say that i am infallable to some level of withdrawl so, while keeping that in mind I eased myself away from it, a little at a t...

Its 0312 and work has pretty much come to a halt, too much work has a detrimental effect and frequent breaks I find now are more of a necessity than anything else; when work finishes, the brain kicks in...... and you have to think not so much for your self but with another part of your brain, in my case I tend toward philosophical matterS regarding both an understanding of things past and toward the future while not excluding the fact that the present alone is instrumental on the future, task finding, forward planning, new initiatives, projects, the list, as I said, for me is endless; the television that has dutifully kept me away from extrinsic thoughts now is not needed and went to its cell in the basement yesterday, my thoughts now in clarity and my faith, not just reaafirmed but increased, research............. research!! That is something that has started to become very much a part of my working practice, perhaps not in the prescribed manner though a very present thought toward al...

Someone was once quoted in the Press to have not been able to fathom out why my works were sold so cheaply, that fact that he did not know the answer is simple, he didn't ask! What he, and many others fail to realise is that my art is about a state of mind, more pronounced are the pieces that, although abstract in appearance, have a story hidden deep within the patternation, a story that only those who had been there could possibly read, the odd exception being the casual critique who has made a lifestyle from trooping around various galleries listening to the, usually far from inspiring banter of that well known figure, the gallery guide. For a person to see their story within my images leaves me feeling saddened for that someone else who has an understanding of pain, hope, shattered lives and dreams, for a person to have that within them sufficient to want one of my works why should he have to pay through the nose, these works in my eyes can and should be looked upon as hope, in ...

It is said that, when you talk to God you are praying, when you hear him, you have schizophrenia, by that assumption I must profess to being schizophrenic, a diagnosis that for sure, some associates over the years is one that they have had of me for many years. To listen to God is the only way that i am ablet to lead my life, its not so much the words that come into my head and come involuntarily out of my mouth on occasions, it is the sights that he sends me out to wonder and ponder over, each time that I go out 'on a mission' i know that there is something out there waiting for me, an answer to a burning question, affirmation that a prayer has been answered or, most excitingly, a progression in my creative life, a new genre, a new image unseen up until that moment, a small object even, one that is taken home and cherished as a gift; I have found many treasured items, crosses, jewels and beautiful things that act as either inspiration or simply as little rewards for a job well...

it is around 4am at present, give or take, and work has been productive throughout the night, fortunately really as one of the residents is in a bit of a dark place and sleep would have been impossible. Coming home around midnight with a friend the sounds were quite cheerful as the night went on, fuelled with alcohol I could hear his gradual decline through the social graces to a point where he now sounds like a madman, trying desperately to escape his confines, away from some demon or other that occupies his space at this nightmarish state of mind. It is only through watching others and their actions that we are truly able to see ourselves. It is sad to witness though I am still fortunate to live where I do, I have a beautiful studio flat within a building that is run by a charity for homeless and vulnerable people, a nice bunch by all accounts and it is always sad when i hear one or the other fighting with themselves; But by the grace of God go I........ with around 12 weeks remainin...

I went to visit my old art college, I say old with reference to the building in its historical sense, it permeates throughout the entire building, a sense of real calm about it despite the hustle and bustle of creatives all running around in with their eyes firmly fixed within another world, it is not hard to see those upon whose shoulders God laid his hand for a little longer giving them that extra piece of creativity as to make it their birthright to be there. Excepting the sound recording rooms which have definate presence in the building more even than a tang of contemporary about it, for me at that moment, it was a little like going home to a place that I had not seen for some time; I had only left their last July. We all need roots, not necessarily those laid down by our birthplace or where we grew up, our true roots lie deep within us and can not be satiated until we become ourselves. When you visit the Developing Countries such as the Far and Middle East, the Africas, you can s...

Well that is sufficient reminiscing for me, it is time to get back to the present with the only job that is of any importance that being the Exhibition pieces for Stavely Show. The past ten days or so have been wasted while my mind mulls over invite cards, posters, and, most importantly, the invite lists; with so much planned for the future with regard to the different charities that I am working with I do not want to over invite as it were, I could combine all of the charities into one invite list but it is not as easy as that, there has to be a balance so that when the exhibition for that particular charity comes along there will still be people to invite, have no preconceptions, just because someone comes to the last exhibition there is no guarantee that they will come to the next. Well, back to the now, it is 11pk and the foundations for Sheilas Sunflower have been laid down and work tomorrow can be in earnest, the earlier, and first piece is now finished and sits on my wall while ...

111108 In the Beginning……… In the beginning there was a forest and , on the floor of the forest lived a man………don’t you just hate cliché! To look back now, it truly was a beginning and an end, the forecast was for the wettest July for something like 50 years, either way it was pretty rough but the general conditions were good for me, I had warm shelter, no visitors, no responsibilities excepting my stomach, and no neighbours, life was good, a little too good perhaps, I was supposed to not to be enjoying myself, God had made sure of that however I took the rains with a constant saying in my head, some curse the rain whilst others take joy from the rainbow. It works, if you want to convince yourself of something then your create, from whatever is around you and whereever you are, find that little place in your heaven and you can make it happen, when someone asks you why you do it, think of an answer and if you find one, either let me know or fail to accept the existance of such a place w...

Knowledge Its true what they say, you know, when you are told you are a fool all your life, you actually do grow up and adopt a self doubt that reliably tells you are in fact a fool! Who is to say I now ask myself, parents, you are a fool to them when you embarrass them, your teachers maybe, you were told that you are were a fool when you ‘didnt conform’, when things weren’t don in the way prescribed manner, that of course combined with a healthy dose of 1960’s ego, on the whole teachers in my day were simple egotistical control freaks, overseen by someone who was either totally unapproachable due to the omnipotent presence of the so-called Deputy Head, everyone knew in those days that it was the Deputy Head who actually controlled the entire educational establishment, the actual Head was simply an administrator. Perhaps that is why I still have much of my journey to make while I learn to take compliments more easily, perhaps that I will discover a deeper understanding of why I don’t y...

Although peace in the world is not specifically what I had intended to write today however as soon as my mind set upon something that i claim to need, when in fact compared to others, not even necessarily far even from my own front door, without even venturing into lands of famine and deprivation, peace, by comparrison, I already have and little more than a prayer can be done befoe I selfishly go back to my own thoughts. Peace....... what a conceptt, fo me it is that place where one goes and the entirety of the world dissapears, a place where their is no famine, war or strife, that moment when you know that to publish, edit and print a world wide newspaper all you could fill it with was a hundred million pages of blank paper, the place where I have to be to create. i can understand why, when you walk past some residences, the television is blaring through the windows, music thunders from bedroom windows, when you walk past these places you know what the person is going through simply ...

They say that the greatest compliment is to inspire someone. I have never gelled well with compliments, less so where my art is concerned, sometimes I just want to get in the tank with my snails (African Land Snails that is) and chill with them, instead i have to stand and accept compliments with humility, to have someone state quite plainly that my works inspire them to move on in their artistic journey is even more than a compliment, you are responsible for another individuals journey, you are responsible to them, not only in their journey but by standing by your own reputation and moving on yourself. To stand still as an artist is not only to tie a noose around your own neck and slowly but surely watch the world according to art, move onwards without you but also to not be able to justify any ones reliance upon your work to inspire them, if you go nowhere, how can those who find you inspiring have any thoughts to moving forward themselves if they see their mentor floundering and goi...

It seems kind of strange being in the public eye again, though in an equally strange way it is like the first time. In the past I have relished in public awareness actively seeking the next editorial, the next photoshoot, the next piece of information that i could chase the media for, notwithstanding when it was the media that were chasing me. At that time however I was fighting a cause and any and all exposure, even the bad stuff, was all equally accepted as 'furthering the cause', shirt jacket and tie, there was little then to make me stand out in a crowd, in fact, my dress code, for want of another word, was more downbeat than my public image and allowed me a certain amount of anonymity despite the regularity of my appearances on television and in the press, living in London also aided a certain annoying calm that caused, not so much annoyance but sheer frustration that i was not recognised by any outside of my street or local pub, at least outside of the military hub. now, ...