A ponderance

Its 0312 and work has pretty much come to a halt, too much work has a detrimental effect and frequent breaks I find now are more of a necessity than anything else; when work finishes, the brain kicks in...... and you have to think not so much for your self but with another part of your brain, in my case I tend toward philosophical matterS regarding both an understanding of things past and toward the future while not excluding the fact that the present alone is instrumental on the future, task finding, forward planning, new initiatives, projects, the list, as I said, for me is endless; the television that has dutifully kept me away from extrinsic thoughts now is not needed and went to its cell in the basement yesterday, my thoughts now in clarity and my faith, not just reaafirmed but increased, research............. research!!

That is something that has started to become very much a part of my working practice, perhaps not in the prescribed manner though a very present thought toward all of my actions. It was probably the biggest dilemma, something so far out of my comfort zone that it has taken till now, some 5 months after leaving college that I am just about getting to grips with the concept.

It was not that I felt there was no need for it in my life, i was just not able to get it down in the way that was expected by the examiners, annotation annotation, your thought process, only now am i even able to understand why i couldn't understand it, the answers were already in my head, do we have any thought processes for remembering what our friends and relatives look like, or even how to draw a map from the front door to the nearest shop, some things we just know and, for some strange reason I expected the examiner to know that I know, was it not plain to see how someone got from A - C without stopping off at B, of course not, it wasn't mentioned because it is just too obvious to mention.

For me, my logic works, I know that when I go off to that special little place where only I and my chosen medium and genre, my canvas or sculpture, i have a helping hand, sometimes i am never quite sure who is sitting on whose shoulder, do i have control of the brush or does god, I come away never knowing the whys or wherefors, i only know the how and for me that is good enough.

it is said that only a poet a writer or an artist could tell you about beauty, I cant yet but I will i am an artist.