If a person wishes
change for the better steps have to be taken and, no matter how difficult
change seems, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel and not
just another ass carrying a torch, only retrospect confirms that to me though even
now, no matter how good ones life might seem it is relative and there is always
more to the journey to experience.
I have spent the great majority of my life unable to see
what is, or what may happen in the next few seconds or minutes, on occasion even
the immediate future was so short as to seem timeless, a common used is ‘’Seeing your past flash before your eyes’’
yet that is merely a generality and the experience is very subjective, a
difficult concept to express other than to suggest that there are moments in
life when Time, as we know it ceases to exist and life is at the complete Mercy
of Fate and circumstance.
I am thankful to know that is not something that I
anticipate and the freedom that I have now allows me now to live a little
(perhaps : -) ). The question arises
however, does one now live life in abandonment and without consideration of
possible dangers, without stresses, worries or concerns, I have lived so much
of my life in a state of hypervigilance, my own protective nature of acute
Hazard Awareness that to consider living a carefree life has been something
that has long been out of my reach and, to be honest, quite a scary
consideration knowing not only the existence of a very real and alternative
world but also the ease into which one can enter.
In retrospect I see Life as a Tree, or perhaps more geometrically,
as a pair of lungs, one branch clean and uninfected as at the time of birth,
the other, ravaged by lifes bad experiences or events, when living in one or
the other of these opposing lives it does make an alternative life-style,
freedom from all ills as quite invisible, even if an awareness of a different
kind of life it can be misunderstood, doubted, even feared, however, as the Chinese
proverb suggests, every journey starts
with a single step and to escape from that which controls your life negatively
positive and difficult steps must be taken towards a better life, to take those
steps there has to be some understanding however not only of how to escape but
also a consideration of ones self and ones own position.
In life there are those who are born into it, raised, live
and die, regardless of circumstances, an alternative life in reality is
generally not perceived and life is lived, some go through life in constant
struggle while others live in ignorance that struggle is ‘’for others’’, I have
even known people who truly believe that Soap Operas such as Eastenders or Coronation Street, rather than to be a reflection of ‘real life’
are in fact as fictitious as Gullivers Travels or Star Trek, seriously these
people do exist, neither seeing or acknowledging the reality and existence of poverty and
suffering on their doorsteps.
Those that seek serious change however are those who KNOW that a better life is possible and
are willing to actively seek out whatever it is they need to do to bring that change, my search for change has been going on for more than a decade
and only now am I am able to really feel the difference change and adaptation
has made in my own life
