Frustrations



Frustratingly all work has come to a halt, albeit loose ends are tied up however, I nontheless am forced to abandon any and all work while I prepare for my change of home and Studio, the move is good providing me with a 'centre' of Town apartment with much better light to paint by than I have at the moment.

If it were not enough to have no work to do my evenings with my partner force an alternative universe upon me as she feeds her self with any number of woes by virtue of hours infront of the television, News channels, world Recession, Soaps, horror stories of Rape, Violence, wars, of G20 riots and exposed public figures ( mostly politicians getting caught doing something or other, a world I have been absent from for so long now that it all seems as though I have been transported to a torture chamber!

There is little of beauty transmitted over the air waves and leaves me in no doubt that the english way of living a life filled with misery is as strong as it ever was and, while people in general seem unable to be either seeking a better life or even willing to take a chance at change, it all seems too much for my brain to even want to be part of it and leaves me in little doubt either that my decision some years ago to alienate myself from society in some small way was a good one.




Moans and Groans, Doom and Gloom, it is no wonder people feel miserable when they surround themselves with it, are people ever happy unless they are miserable? It seems not.

My frustrations continue though in recognising the opportunity for additional opportunity and inspirations I do worry that to reinvolve myself in the misery of social deprivation for the sake of art will take more than a little resolve to avoid it having some profound effect upon me, having taken myself to the depths of misery earlier in my career and nearly falling foul of its effects I wonder if I am willing to retest my strengths of faith and personal welfare, perhaps I should just ride the storm and ignore all that is put in front of me, we are, as it is said, what we digest.

As a sort of result of this sudden dive into the real world I have realised that I have started to involve people in my photography, a first of all time and I wonder if it will lead to my introducing a different aspect to my paint and installational work, for sure and up until now I have always avoided placing people in my work in an attempt to fully explore myself and the new world in which I found myself living in, this was not a concious direction but one that I am willing to continue and see where it leads.

On the positive side I have taken the plunge in a life long dream to seek an additional source of occupation in the world of drama, signing up recently to the local amateur dramatics society in a bid to explore the thespian within, this will be a true test of my own confidence having lost comfort with public speaking some years ago. The thought of standing on a stage although once a great imaginary passtime became an impossibility at some stage during my depressive period though now, armed with the supporting fact that it wont actually be me performing but another character, it is something that I am looking forward to; for sure, much of my life has been fun as I pursued the self and the necessary wearing of many hats.

Little more is of note other than a continued journey of exploration amidst the Social Networking sites that I am part of though now it seems that the initial trials are coming to an end as I start to recognise some use for them from a career point of view, watch this space andy.

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