changing direction

Fortune favors the brave, a quote, author not really known, another great quote in my head does have an author, Winston Churchill who said, ''The farther back we can see the farther forward we can Look'', as we grow as humans our greatest lessons are from those mistakes that we have already made and learned from and we should remember our past lessons, one such lesson comes from my partner and muse Sheila who brought me a lesson that was to change the course of my life, she was to show me through paint exactly what it was that I was lacking in my 40 plus years of 'trying to paint'
This thought comes to me as I sit in the studio at 6 am carrying out major surgery on ''Mrs Energy'', one of the Social Realism series that I am working on, amputated arms, legs and an open chest wound from the base of her neck to her mons pubis, lying on the worktop as if in the middle of an autopsy I proceeded to add extra length to her limbs.
Throughout my life I have always marveled at my own ability to 'guestimate' always within pinpoint accuracy in any number of things, cutting, weighing, calculating, I once paid my 50p at a school fete a couple of years ago and managed to guestimate 2 short of the 900 and some odd jelly beans in the jar, of course, it wasn't guestimation more a speedy calculation of the number of beans by width  x height, x length though even on that occasion it was startlingly accurate, this ability I carried over into my paintings and other creations, squeezing the tiniest drop of paint out that would adequately complete the job without waste and stretching a tube of paint out to the maximum number of paintings without having to go out and buy more, not because I was tight but because I simply didn't want to go out.



Wandering into the studio one day, a little lost and a lot bored she watched me paint and asked, ''Can I have a go'', I don't know why she thought she had to even ask but, yeah, here you go, paint, canvas, whatever you want. 
For a moment she sat on the floor and mimicked that which I had been doing, it must have looked like fun to her, the mimicry last mere seconds before I saw an actual physical change in her as she disappeared, paint stick in one hand, spray bottle of Turps in the other each little more than an extension of herself; she completed many hundreds of paintings after that moment, without a care for cost or waste or mistake, just pure paint, following that day she had an emerging artist show and was juried into a prestigious Northern art fayre, what wonderful exciting evocative and emotional images she produced there onwards, I think it was Jackson Pollock who stressed that art comes from within, for sure Sheilas was, to me, extra-worldly.

I ceased to paint after that day I recognized in her and her work the very foundations of great art and I realized that I had none of them, my emotions and passions destroyed more years ago than I could piece together, had I not learned from Sheila it is most likely that I would still be wandering the streets looking the part in paint-spattered clothes while all the while feeling totally fraudulent despite good reviews, that was not what I was looking for, Sheila had it, she owned her work and nothing came from anyone else, how could I say that with a head full of teachings and words from others, for sure I had nothing to say about painting that had not already been said a hundred thousand times throughout history.
My mindset was ''I have paint, I have a support I put one to the other and make a picture'' end of lecture about 'my art', it truly was time to abandon ship, my life goal and dream, time to turn in another direction, the greatest decision of my life was made 8 years ago when I opted for sculpture even if, for a short while, I carried the same error over with me but that soon went.
Sometimes you have to change direction in life, it can be a scary option but the rewards if the right decision is found is truly profound.

This Blog Post concludes that chapter of my life which I do so with huge gratitude to Sheila, partner and Muse, there is much to follow as I start this new and exciting journey.

The Moormen - a series

’The Moormen’ 

This is by far the longest BLOG post I have ever written, it is open ended and will be continually edited as The Moormen series progress for it is my growing explanation for a new work direction over an indefinite period, part explanation, part philosophy part everything else that relates to, The Moormen and women.

'The Moormen'. are a series depicting an imaginary race inspired by real people, 'the colorful characters, the ones who stand out in a crowd, either by their own actions or their inactions, sometimes because of their life-style, sometimes because of their life choices, sometimes, driven by situation, by cause and effect.  Moormen generally live out their days oblivious to the affairs of the outside world, sometimes if only for a moment of freedom from their own concerns, a world where, either of their own uncaring nature or simply too vast and foreign as to be even a part of their thought process, perhaps even, ignorant to the troubles of the human race and the future of the world they live in, oblivious to the trillions spent to the Space race, to the trillions spent dealing with the very Human sufferings of elsewhere, of War, Famine, Natural disasters they have troubles enough themselves deal with even if only trying to make the pennies last the week. 

For one group of people, their world is all of the world, a world where, sometimes or often, the proverbial 'Airing of Laundry' renders them naked but unperturbed, sometimes good days, sometimes bad and sometimes terrible days they wish they had not woken too but each morning, mostly, it starts with a smile and a hope, sometimes their days often start or end with the emergency services in attendance, real life, real people, life is rarely without an event of one kind or another for a people watcher, it is of this group of individuals that I focus on for the 'Moormen' series for they are a daily part of my life as they go about their business, some of surviving from one day to the next, mentally, spiritually or financially, there is always something going on in the life of a Moorman, it is never ending, the ducking and diving bobbing and weaving and always trying to stay one step ahead of speedy contemporary life; these individuals expose themselves as emotionally naked and live out their most intimate thoughts of their passions or desires freed from responsible thought, anger, joy, bitterness, frustrations all played out for the world to see, at these times I see these people alone, those who they are close to only able to offer flawed advice or, as is often the case, as much being a part of the problem than the solution. 

You cannot quantify a tragedy or a joy, they are personal, an old saying is ‘’Where theres muck theres brass’’, one mans pleasure may be anothers lifeline however to the individual ‘’the situation’’ is whatever it is to that persons life, even between cultures there are differences in what is a tragedy, a death celebrated at Brazils ‘Day of the Dead’ is, for another a path to sorrows beyond the ability to cope embarking that person on a road with no happy ending, a Martyr in one culture, a tragedy in another, hunger, sorrow, joy, happiness, celebration, commiseration, so often you will see the statement, ‘Don’t Judge me until you have walked in my shoes’ yet for The Moormen, the real people of the world there is no ‘’What happens in house stays in house, for others this is gospel.

Another group of people who stand out to me are those whose lives are, perhaps, societies 'normal', slipping through life they manage their day to days, even if not in extreme comfort, a step ahead of their game and easily able to lose themselves in a moment of solitude in their seemingly busy schedules.

This is much farther reaching group than the small community in which I live, this is global, the neither not rich nor poor people that comprise the middle of society, even when enveloped in some life serious situation they do not manage it alone they have friends and family, a support network with whom they share their troubles and accept good advice, I see them in those moments when they are easily able to 'switch off' and become so engrossed in their thoughts that the world outside of that small bubble simply disappears, when looking a piece of captivating art, waiting for their wife outside of the dress shop, being taken somewhere special all dressed up and waiting for a friend or a lift, looking at a beautiful woman, sitting in an airport or waiting for a bus or, simply staring into a river or a cloud, these are the moments when a little bliss or pleasure also leaves a person emotionally naked and so vulnerable as they expose and live within their most intimate thoughts of their passions or desires freed from responsible thought.

There are other groups and other situation by the myriad of course but, for the moment there are sufficient in this BLOG alone to keep me busy for a long time, Ive seen and known many, someone once said to me '' You dont know me'', but, the reality is that I have, another place, another time even another name, there are unlimited unique individuals in the world but always there will be specific group, peer, family or situation alignments, even a sets of specific reactions to given causal effects, people strive more often to fit in, to be seen and perceived as a part of a normal social group whichever social group they join, whatever lives they choose to live but always there is a degree of conformity between individuals, 'society' and more importantly, ''The System of life'' doesnt allow for unique individuals to co-exist by the millions of individuals who think they are a unique and individual.

 The System cannot afford, literally, for individuality and uniqueness to exist no matter the propoganda, were we all to exist as an individual The system ceases to exist,  if the system ceases to exist society as we know it will collapse and there is no coming back from that but for for decades of change and greater misery, for this reason alone is why I understand that people have to escape into their own world sometimes, I admire the individuals for their struggles are always greater than the conformist, a part of me imagines that, as I watch them, it might be the only time they can feel that they are really an individual with an individual free thought life.

My background is of the military and there are fewer totalitarian systems that exist even, even able to conform to a certain degree I found my freedom through escapism, into 'somewhere else' anywhere else where I could create or watch others, to see their struggles I found understanding as well as a balance for my own dual life, thankfully I have broken free of 'control' to a huge extent and though I manage to conform albeit minimally I find my freedom and escapism, even now through art and know from my watching that this is not the case for so many, those I plan to create.

Hypervigilant by nature I am captivated by these people who 'stand out from the crowd' for whatever reason, they know themselves for they are known for what and who they are both to others and, more importantly, to themselves.

 having never really been able, or perhaps willing, to experience this sense of serenity beyond perhaps 90% security and 10% freedom my hypervigilance controls my life and I submit those figures for perhaps the most excellent day I could have,  even at my most engrossed there is still and always 10% of my attention turned toward the sights, sounds, and body language of the people and the environment all around me, extrinsic reality-denying my most basic freedom, to live and to fully enjoy my life, I dont want to lose that ten percentage,  but, in moments of watching another I see so much about a person, the last 10% of freedom I hold in reserve for home and studio !

To witness an individual in a 100% state of absent mindedness leaves me feeling sometimes quite breathless and often for the very and real state of vulnerability that they have adopted for a moments escapism into their thought world, more common in contemporary life it is the technology that takes people elsewhere to not only think of somewhere and something else but to actually 'be somewhere and, with someone else', as they become absolutely engrossed in their Phone, Tablet and social media they are lost to the world, an accident waiting to happen, it only takes a millisecond for that moment of complete separateness to turn into an absolute tragedy, I have seen it unfold so many times but, what can you do, tap on someones shoulder and suggest they stop doing what they are doing, to take notice of what is going on around them, it is unlikely that any  caring intent would be appreciated at all, instead, I choose to watch them, observe them, even understand them, and now to model them.

Perhaps my Social Realism pieces may one day click with someone and save them a tragedy, neither I or they may never know but that is one of the beauties of art, auto-suggestion, a subliminal effect sometimes even to be touched profoundly but rarely fully understood.

First Step Last Stage.

For those who have followed my progress over the many years, they are aware that I have sought to create a sculptural process that enthralls me throughout, from inspiration and design through to materials, structure and now onward to the final stage, that being the part only seen by the viewer as a finished piece.
Notwithstanding becoming bored, disinterested or frustrated each stage of forming this personal process has brought 6 years of emotional roller coaster, a plethora of practice, of trial and error, of sometimes (average) success or ultimate and sometimes epic failures, only through a persistence for total job satisfaction have I reached this stage through more changes in direction than I can remember, reaching out to something new and unknown only to abandon and discard, lodged in my memory bank subtle ideas that would be useful in future projects and then to turn the page to the next idea in the plan to research, always as is the saying, ''hoping for the best, anticipating the worse''.

This process of trial and elimination continues today  launching on this, a new direction for the final veneer  and visit a Garage spray shop as I seek out  iridescent light changing colours, another purpose of the visit was to establish if a garage paint shop oven reaches sufficiently high enough temperatures to bake, sadly they only reach 100 deg c and I am looking for 130deg, back to the drawing board; the ultimate plan of course is to  commission a bespoke home oven however there are other alternatives to explore before reaching that point, once thought of in an earlier project, I turn my attention now to a possible baking solution in commercial pottery kilns, perhaps they are able to be regulated to a very low temperature also.

Iridescent Pallet

The garage now has a test piece for paintwork and I wait in anticipation for that call which will let me know if, on this occasion and once again, whether Success or Failure is found at this final stage of my sculptural process if not, time to dig out the Aiwata air spray and compressor for a stage I don't really relish or see in my sculpture practice.

The sum of many parts

Rare is it that the work involved is seen by the average and casual viewer, beneath the layers exist hours of construction, contemporaneously or historically, it is this that makes ones work stand out.

In order for this to occur it must be considered that a piece of work is comprised, not just of layers of paint, clay or individual parts but also a series of Techniques and processes that have been practiced and mastered, also this familiarity is important to ensure a balance of work and unity across an entire series or body of work, tried and tested means, Research and Development, success and failure, manipulation and, sometimes, an element of innovation.

To this end I am revamping the process of making my bricks, drawing on experience and knowledge of other techniques combined with a specific approach to the forming and hand priming of the clay within the silicone mould, for me this ensures sympathetic preservations of fragile detail of the original form, also, it is important for me to maintain a set of ethics that allow me to consider my entire works as 'Handcrafted Fine Art'  even given the use of a mould process.




Thought process flow chart





Having discovered a ''baked clay to baked clay'' bonding issue, there is it seems as yet no specific adhesive specific to the bonding of baked clays, while some produce a sticky melted mess, some crack and pieces break apart, as did mine yesterday evening, others simply do not hold adequately, having been in the situation of having to remove a private garden commission for this very reason I have also to resolve this issue before I can continue to create.






The alternative given the overall finished size of the composite works is to commission the build of a bespoke large oven, this has been in the back of my mind for the past few years, always imagining that this would be inevitable now it seems it is that time.

Plan A !!

When a plan comes together...

  "First I saw the mountains in the painting then I saw the painting in the mountains"

Chinese Proverb

Don't you love it when a plan, combined with a series of unconnected parts, all comes together in unison, inspirations, materials, technique and passion, an explosively expressive combination?

Today I started and completed the first component of my first biomorphic work for a couple of years, combining a love of Sumi-e mountains, a fascination with repetitive pattern, a specific technique and of course, Biomorphism; a recognition and understanding of all of these elements have been a part and parcel of my daily life though always it seemed one or the other was absent, worse still, incomplete leaving naught but frustration and dissatisfaction with any work completed, today I am satisfied.

   

Though each is created from a mould the Clay is literally spooned and guided into each of the grooves cuts and depressions creating multiple Individual components, shaped, baked and then affixed to a main body of work. 

The New Studio8

Finally, the instalation of the new studio8 is, barring the fine tuning such as overhead lights and foto booth plus a few other minor additions, though these are with regard to its functionality luxury additions rather than any necessity, for now I can get back to work.

Dedicated solely to Polymer Clay work It is much smaller than previous studios but in the world of progress it is so much larger than the original Studio! on the Heerstrasse of Berlin way back in 1978, wow! has so many years passed between Studio1 and 8, that was also an intimate space but nowhere near the amount of storage and working area than I now have

Work to do now, have an artful Day one and all while I crack on with my ''Moormen'' series, more on these characters later.