The Residue of a Public Self

10/10/2026

Recently I found myself admitting something that, years ago, I would probably have resisted.
I still carry a residue of narcissism.
Not the overwhelming kind that once thrived on public attention, but a much smaller remnant left behind from another period of my life. There was a time when I actively sought every opportunity to speak out. Television appearances, radio interviews and newspaper coverage provided platforms that seemed impossible to resist. If there was an audience available, I wanted to step in front of it.
Alongside that public life came the maintenance of image. The mirror was a constant companion. Appearance mattered. Presentation mattered. Being seen mattered.
Looking back, I can recognise that period for what it was. The public self became a significant part of my identity.
Over time, however, that version of me was gradually dismantled. Not through force, but through changing priorities. The need to cultivate an image gave way to the need to create. The desire to be noticed became less important than the desire to make something worthwhile.
What remains now is what I call the residue.
I am content to live with it.
The residue still appreciates a platform. It still enjoys sharing thoughts, ideas and artwork with others. The difference is that the platform no longer defines the purpose.
Today that platform consists mainly of social media. Facebook remains active. Blogger, after years of dormancy, has come back to life. My audience is comparatively small, but that no longer troubles me. The project is evolving. The design changes. The content develops. The audience grows slowly, if at all.
What matters more is that it exists.
I have come to realise that wanting a platform is not necessarily the same as wanting attention for its own sake. Artists, writers and creators have always needed places where their work can be seen. The question is whether the platform serves the work, or whether the work merely serves the platform.
For many years I suspect the balance was the wrong way around.
Now, the art comes first.
The blog is a record.
The social media accounts are galleries.
The audience is welcome, but no longer essential to my sense of self.
A simple test occurs to me. If every social media account disappeared tomorrow, would I still make the work?
The answer is ofcourse, yes I was painting sculpting and exploring creative pursuits fir many years before it all came along so why not after!
That answer tells me something important.
The residue remains, sitting quietly in the background, but it is no longer steering the vehicle. The artist has taken the wheel, and the public self is simply along for the ride.

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